There are times in our lives when we question our own existence, as well as our surroundings. Things of such a philosophical nature are often vastly different depending on one's viewpoint. This, perhaps, is attributed to the manner in which we are brought up; the surroundings that we are brought up in; and perhaps even one's gender and sexuality. Thus, I shall reproduce various answers to the age old question:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.
Plato: For the greater good.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx: It was historical inevitability.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronal Reagan: I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: Then God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." The chicken crossed the road, as God had ordained, and there was much rejoicing.
Shakespeare: To cross, or not to cross: that is the question.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. Haw many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who care why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office XP which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observer the chicken crossing?"
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Bodisatva: Are not the chicken and the road one?
Ralph Waldo Emoeson: The chicken did not cross the road, the road was transcended by it.
Ernest Hemmingway: To die. Alone. In the rain.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
Bill Clinton: I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.
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